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Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t. 'Gail?' I mentally called while the teacher was droning on.'Yeah, Alex? What's up?''I think you may have to talk to Michelle again, we seem to have a situation here. I'm trying to rectify it, but I think she'd like to know what's happening, ' I told her.'OK, tell me what's happening and I'll get it to her. I've got a few minutes to spare, ' she said.So I proceeded to detail exactly what had happened yesterday, both about Tony, Darrell and me, and about the underlying problem with Brian. I then proceeded to describe how I'd just lost my temper and what I'd told the Principal.'I'm proud of you, Alex. That couldn't have been easy to adapt and react like that. You did a very good job and I'm sure Mr. Phillips will be rushing trying to get his own house in order, but I'll be sure to keep Michelle informed. You know she's quite impressed with you don't you?''Hey, she's female. For some odd reason women are always impressed with me. I don't know whether what I do or say makes any difference.
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